thank you so much for sharing all those details about Roger and yourself, and about what happened. I’m glad that he didn’t suffer but reading the story brought tears to my eyes, repeatedly, and I was grappling with how to respond – anything I wrote felt inadequate.

I’m so very grateful for your generosity in sharing what happened in so much detail and providing answers to the questions many of us had.

Over the last day or so, since my last post, I’ve started re-listening to the “Turbulent Times” tapes (and now is a really good time for them since times are a bit turbulent for me as well as a lot of others), and I’m struck at how much Roger has become part of my life.

I know those tapes practically by heart. Roger feels like a close friend and mentor talking to me as I listen to the tapes. I can hardly believe I have never actually met him.

One of my favorite quotes in that program (something which he says is the key to stress management) is:

“Do what you say you value”

That is so true! But not always easy…

He also talked about his “forest” in Louisiana, and it was wonderful to read your description of it – what an amazing place – I love botanical gardens, old trees, and lights, and I wish I had been able to see it.

Reading on and discovering how a good part of it was destroyed by Katrina was heartbreaking, though not nearly as much as Roger’s passing.

But as you wrote, Roger lives on, in his work, and in other ways, and getting his message out to the world in a new format would help many people.

I’ll write to you privately about a few ideas I have about some possibilities to make that happen.

In gratitude,

Elisabeth

I met Roger through mutual friends on a trip to New Orleans to visit my sons who were in college at tulane and Loyola. My first husband Doug and i met and married in New Orleans in 1977. We had 4 children and moved to colorado in 1990 where I was from to be near my family. Sadly Doug died from cancer in 1996 but I and the kids remained in Colorado. the 2 oldest chose to return to New Orleans for college. My husband Doug and I’s best friends in New Orleans had met Roger through one of the coaches for the New Orleans Saints. They set us up on a blind date while I was visiting in April of 2001 and by August we were married. It was just one of those things that you knew was meant to be. I am a registered nursue and was working in mind/body/spirit groups for people with cancer at the time we met so our professions really blended.
I moved back to New Orleans and we lived north of the city in covington on a three acre botanical garden site thaat he had been developing for the last 10 years. John Laiche who wrote above did all of the electrical work because Roger had lights running throughout the entire property to create a wonderland at night. His garden was his pride and joy and he worked endlessly on improving it. When I met him he was doing keynote speaking and giving stress manangement workshps as well as coaching for CEO’s. His main client was NASA and he was so passionate about the human space flight program. He did some coaching of the Space Shuttle commanders and chief astronauts as well as different heads of programs throughtout all of the space centers. He became one of their go to men when needing conflict resolution and after the columbia crash he was extremely involved with the return to flight program even getting to be in the launch room for the 1st flight return. NASA by far was his first love when it came to companies he worked with and he learned so much from everyone he worked with and they became like a family to him.
Together we had 6 children 3 boys and 3 girls. Two were his and 4 were mine. His kids still lived in Denver with their mom but we visited frequently. The families blended fairly easily and we shared some incredible times together. I quit nursing and became his business mananger. He absolutey loved his work and told me he also for the first time absolutely loved his life. I was amazed to be the wife of this incredible man and so proud of who he had become. Life was really good. Then came the hurricane…Katrina… We lived north of the city so that we were not flooded but hundreds of trees on the property were laying around like pick-up sticks. Huge trees that crushed everything except out house. It was pretty miraculous that our house was spared. Still the aftermath was extremely difficult in trying to restore what was lost. My oldest daughter was getting married in November that year and we had to cancel the wedding because there were no hotels open etc. We rescheduled the wedding for Feb. We were working hard to get the property back in shape for the wedding. He had a 2 day seminar to give @ Kennedy Space Center that week on Tuesday and Wednesday and after working all day in the yard he flew to Kennedy that night. We talked on the phone around 11pm and went to bed. About 9:30 the next morning the phone rang and it was Russell who was head of the shuttle program at the time. Roger hadn’t shown up for the meeting that morning and wasn’t answering his cell phone. They called the hotel where he always stayed to see if he ahd checked in and then asked them to go to the room to check on him. They found him in bed just like he was sleeping. They think he died sometime around 3 AM. I still can’t tell the story without crying because the shock was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I had already lost one husband and thought somehow I was immune to this happening again. The next week was a blurr to me and friends and family carried me through a time when I could not do it myself. There was such an outpouring of love and kindness and we had several “parties” celebrating his life filled with laughter and tears. Because my daughter was getting married the next week we had all of this family who came in for the funeral on Sunday and stayed for the wedding on the following Saturday. It was truly a sacred time that none of us would have ordinarily shared toghether. It was such a lesson in life and it’s brevity and it’s need to go on no matter what happens. I don’t think I will ever get over it you just get through it. Losing someone like that is not something that ever feels over but I have to look at the gift of the time I shared and the profound influence he had on my life. I know I am a deeper richer more compassionate woman for having spent 4 years of my life with this man. I also believe that I will see him again and that he watches over all that he loved.

I am so gratified to know that his teachings still are guiding people to a better life. sincerely, Catherine

I hope his tapes will soon be made available on CDs (and the videos on DVDs) so that his teachings can continue to help people navigate life’s challenges.

thank you so much for writing and sharing your experiences and thoughts re Roger’s teachings. I will let Catherine know and forward your email address to her so she can contact you.

thanks so much for writing and sharing those stories and anecdotes with us.

I especially love your favorite:

“And the best: He would ask the audience to raise their hands if they had ever been in a situation they couldn’t handle. After almost everyone’s hand went up, Roger said, “Think about it, you obviously could and did handle it because you’re here today.””

How cool is that! Something to put on a plaque or something, or on a keyring to always have handy when times get rough.

Sorry for replying so late. I’ve had a few rough months, but yes, I am here now, and working on getting caught up… Time to listen to my “turbulent times” tapes again!

Thanks again!

As I was doing a google search to find out more about his programs, I came across this sharing about his death. I am saddened. This news was so unexpected by me.

My condolences to his family and to all of us who benefited from his stories and wonderful examples that brought his ideas to life.

I happen to be African American and felt so validated when listening to Mellott’s SMFP tapes. He crystallized for me that I may feel different when I walk into a room where others are the same, but I don’t have to feel powerless. I also can go neutral and not waste my energy on someone who’s not conscious…as you can’t enlighten the unconscious as their tea cups are already full. Lastly, but not least, if my number is below 50, be less verbal. As I try to convince someone that they’re wrong and I’m right, my number get’s even lower.

As you can see, this is how much I have embedded Mellott’s messages in my spirit and they have supported me unconditionally since 1999. My learning from Mellott goes on and on.

Catherine, if you or your children want to continue your husband’s legacy and want to include a diverse voice, please contact me. I will try to locate your email address as I only saw your name via this blog.

God Bless you and your family. Your husband has successfully completed his legacy of empowering others on earth.
Angela

I had the extreme pleasure of spending a good amount of time traveling and working with him when I was Audio Production Manager at CareerTrack Publications in Boulder, CO, in the late 1980s. I greatly enjoyed recording several of his live seminars when I produced his audiocassette program “Stress Management for Professionals.” Of all the incredibly brilliant and talented speakers I worked with at CareerTrack, Roger left me the strongest impression on me. In my job I worked with a number of fascinating people who were outstanding speakers and trainers. Many of them had excellent presentations, but not many struck me as directly useful or applicable. Roger, however, was one of the few who literally changed my life because he said some things that hit me so powerfully that I adopted them as part of my core life philosophy. How often does a speaker say something that truly makes you live it? A couple of examples that I have recounted to hundreds of friends over the years:

If you heard his tape program, his “Carl” story about the homeless bum who gave Roger a bottle of wine got me with the line, “He didn’t give me his extra, he gave me his only.” I’ve never forgotten that and I can’t remember how many times I’ve handed a stranger money or some food, clothing, or other item that was all I had because I heard Roger in my head and recognized the difference between giving something when you have plenty vs giving someone all you have.

Another one that always stayed with me was when he said, “A hotel room in Hawaii costs a lot less than a hospital bed. Which would you rather spend a week in?”

And the best: He would ask the audience to raise their hands if they had ever been in a situation they couldn’t handle. After almost everyone’s hand went up, Roger said, “Think about it, you obviously could and did handle it because you’re here today.”

On a personal note, Roger first introduced me to sushi when we were taping in Stockton, CA, and he had me pull into an obscure Japanese restaurant where it turned out the sushi chef was a guy who Roger had met when he had studied at one time in Osaka. We gorged on dozens of pieces of delicious sushi and put away a number of cold bottles of Sapporo beer while Roger and the chef chatted in appparently semi-fluent Japanese. And later on that trip we had dinner at a fantastic restaurant right on the water at Bodega Bay in San Francisco where I witnessed my first view of the sun SETTING over the ocean (I’m from the East Coast).

He was an incredible guy and I had always had the idea in the back of my head that it would be nice to catch up with him someday in person, by phone or maybe Facebook or something. I had no idea what he did after I left CareerTrack in 1989, I knew then that he lived in Littleton, CO, and had a private practice, but I never heard anything about Louisiana or NASA. I hope he had an enjoyable and rewarding career and life after CareerTrack, and it’s a comfort to hear that he died peacefully in his sleep. What a sorrow and disappointment to hear he was gone. My condolences to his family, although I envy you from having been able to know him so much better than I did as a colleague.

Mrs. Kalie Walker
Winter Park, Florida

If anyone know exactly what happened, I would love to get informed. Thanks.

-Kent Boxberger