My Favorite Self-Help Stuff

Can EFT help you overcome bad habits, including procrastination? You bet it can.

EFT, also known as Tapping or as Emotional Freedom Technique, is a kind of acupuncture that uses gentle taps instead of needles. It’s especially effective at helping you overcome distressing emotions and all sorts of conscious and unconscious blocks. And yes, it works nicely for overcoming procrastination.

You tap on a series of points while saying certain statements, and your body kind of recalibrates itself…

Here’s how I first discovered just how powerful it could be:

When I first started with EFT, I had a major dog phobia.

Now I know that this may seem hard to believe if you love dogs, but I was really scared of dogs, to the point that I would get a panic attack when I was out for a walk in the park and saw a dog on the other side of the park, minding his own business.

My heart would race, I was scared out of my mind, beating a hasty retreat to my car as I imagined that this dog might make a beeline for me and bite me.

And of course, with that kind of attitude, I did attract a fair number of hostile dogs, and even normally friendly dogs would be much less friendly to me. It didn’t help that barking alone was causing me to panic.

So when I learned EFT, I decided to try it on my fear of dogs. I tapped a few rounds, and then forgot about it.

A few weeks later, I was going to someone’s house (where I had never been before) for a meeting, and as I walked in the door, there was met by a very large dog, his nose practically bumping into my midriff. And I said, “Uh, hi dog,” a bit startled but NOT panicky.

Later, the dog made his rounds to be petted and when he came to me, I petted his back, and he put his head on my lap. And not only did I not panic at all. but I rather enjoyed this brief connection.

Whoa! What happened? Could this be because of the EFT? You bet.

And at this point, I finally relate to dogs much like any “normal” person.

So can EFT help with procrastination and other habits? Of course it can.

Here’s a free introduction to using EFT, complete with an illustration of the main tapping points.

Download it, take a few minutes to read it, and then try it with the following set-up phrases as you tap your karate chop point:

“Even though I don’t want to do this (activity) right now, I deeply and completely accept myself”

“Even though I would rather not do (this activity), I choose to feel calm and confident.

“Even though I am tempted to procrastinate, I choose to do this (activity) right now.”

Then, for the follow-up statements, tap on the points listed in the ebook, and use the negative parts of the set=up statements for the first round or two, and then use the positive ones for a round. Later, you can also alternate between them, but make sure you always end with a positive one.

Again, just download your free introduction to EFT right here, and get tapping.

Do you procrastinate? And is it causing you stress?

There are a number of approaches to overcoming procrastination. There’s the traditional, and then there are a few alternatives too. But first, we need to understand why we procrastinate in the first place.

Here are the key reasons why we procrastinate:

a) Too much to do

Ironically, the more we are under pressure, the more we procrastinate. It seems almost like a self-defense mechanism. Maybe it’s the stubborn child within who’s trying to get his or her way.

Unfortunately, procrastination is the least likely way to get you out of a jam. If anything, the undone things continue to pile up as the current load adds to the backlog, and the next thing you know is that you REALLY have a problem

Bad Habits/Procrastination Quiz

Fortunately, there are solutions. The link above leads to a very cool free ecourse that can get you started on your way to overcoming bad habits, including the dreaded procrastination. Check it out.

b) Not enough information

Sometimes, of course, we procrastinate because we simply aren’t ready to do the task at hand. Maybe we don’t have the information we need. In fact, that’s a surprisingly frequent cause. Sometimes, that lack of information too is due to procrastination of course…

If we had started earlier, we might have been able to gather all that information, and so now we would have it.

c) Not the right time

Bill Burns has said that sometimes, it’s just not the right time yet. So maybe we procrastinate because our subconscious doesn’t want us to do the task yet — or ever. Maybe it’s not something we should do. Maybe it’s not our time to do it just yet. But there are plenty of things where we’re just dogging it (or so he says…), so read on.

What if you’ve got to get it done?

But then, there are areas where all of the above isn’t really a good enough excuse. it’s time to just suck it up and get things done.

Click Here for your Bad Habits/Procrastination Quiz

Once we decide to do just it, there are a number of ways we can help ourselves to get things taken care of. Here are a few:

1) The Law of Attraction Approach

According to the Law of Attraction approach, like draws like, so if we want to get something done, it helps to see ourselves as doing it and feeling good about doing it. That will “attract” us actually doing it. Or make it easier to get there in any case.

How to do that? Be very aware of any counterproductive self-talk. The two key kinds of bad self-talk are the following

a) I can’t do it

Don’t even think it. See yourself doing it and then just take action. If it seems overwhelming, just focus on one thing at a time, and specifically, on the first step. Then focus on the next one. And the next one. And when your self-talk turns negative again, shut it up and replace it with “I’m doing it one step at a time” or “I can do this step…” And so on.

b) “I don’t want to do it” OR “I HAVE to do it”

A lot of procrastination comes from not wanting to do things we have to do. We might rebel against our obligations. We chave against authority. Whatever.

It’s up to us to change it. We’re not children anymore. Our bosses, if we have them, are not our parents. Instead of the rebellion track, we should focus on the choices we make.

So instead of saying “I have to…” it helps to say “I choose to…” You don’t HAVE to say “I want to,” especially if you don’t really want to do something, but you can always choose to do it anyway, for the greater good or for whatever good outcome you can foresee to come from it.

2) NLP Approach

My friend and favorite mentor Jason Fladlien is excellent with helping people use NLP to overcome bad habits, and the best part is that he’s very down-to-earth and leaves the complicated stuff where it belongs: out of it. He focuses on the straightforward and teaches the techniques in a very easy to follow way.

He uses it especially to help people in internet marketing, where it’s easy to get overwhelmed. With his coaching and his courses, they find it much easier to get on top of their to-do lists and get their businesses off the ground.

He even has a very cool (and “different”) time management program that includes a Day Job Eliminator module, where he shows people how to get their business started even while working a day job — so they can leave that day job behind.

Take the Procrastination Quiz, sign up for the free “Overcoming bad habits” ecourse, and you’ll also get a discount on the time management book if you want it.

3) The EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Approach

Since a lot of procrastination has to do with negative emotions, taming those emotions can help a great deal. Here’s a free ebook I wrote that can get you started with using EFT tapping to help you overcome procrastination and a whole lot of other things:

EFT and procrastination

It’s easy and can be learned very quickly, so consider giving it a shot. I originally wrote it for my students who were stressing over having to do presentations in front of the class. It helped them with that, and it can help you with a number of things as well.

Come to think of it, I may write a sequel on using EFT on procrastination specifically. But for now, just use the stuff in the book, and look for follow-up emails with tips on using EFT for a variety of other things.

4) The Stress Relief Approach

All of the above will help reduce the stress that may be caused and or be responsible, at least in part, for the procrastination issue. For example, stress can lead to overwhelm, and once you’re in overwhelm, you may not be able to function very effectively anymore.

It’s as if our brain were trying to protect us from doing more than we can handle. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always get the priorities right, and so we may find ourselves in hot water…

So it helps to also approach the dilemma by focusing on getting some stress relief….

But whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up. The carrot works a whole lot better than the stick, and making yourself feel bad about yourself is totally counterproductive. Instead, give yourself a break, regroup, and use one of the helpful free resources. Find out more about one of the most powerful ones here:

EFT and Procrastination

and

Click Here for your Bad Habits/Procrastination Quiz

Most importantly, see yourself happily and joyfully completing whatever action you need to do, and then see yourself being glad to have completed it. That will help a great deal no matter what else you do.

Wishing you lots of energy and productivity!

Elisabeth

Hi all,

My Self Help Stuff Facebook Fan Page is up now!

Not too fancy yet, but it has a welcome page and a discussion page too.

Please come visit and “like” it so I can get a cool custom URL.

Setting up that page was a bit of a challenge — at first, but after spending a ton of
time researching it for one of my clients, I managed to set up his, and then mine as well.

What does it take? FBML — i.e. Face Book Mark-up Language. The Facebook version of HTML, which is essentially HTML but with a few shortcuts and limitations.

And that cool header. How do you like it? I love it! I got that from Cindy from the unlimited minisites (see right sidebar).

So what will my Self Help Stuff page be about? Well, self help of course, and stress relief, plus related issues, much like my self help blog.

Meanwhile, would you do me a favor and go to that page and if you like it, click the “like” button?

Here’s why:

I need 25 (I think) people who like it before I can get my custom URL, which doesn’t involve a whole bunch of numbers and doesn’t have to be abbreviated into a budurl so that people can remember it.

Why is it cool to have a page?

Remember that you can “only” have 5,000 Friends. But there’s no limit to how many fans you can have.

Also, once you start writing stuff on your fan page, it appears on the timeline (or wall?) of all of your fans. And every time one of THEIR fans likes it too, it will appear on THEIR timeline for all of THEIR fans to see it.

Can you see how this can easily become viral?

Another feature: the Discussion! Yes, you can have a discussion. I have posted two topics that I would like to discuss with my fans and visitors.

And where can you find my fan page? Here: http://www.budurl.com/fbsh (which stands for Facebook Self Help.

Thanks and have a fantastic day!

Elisabeth

Happy Mother’s Day!

To honor all mothers among my readers and to give you (or your daughters) a way to help you de-stress your life and make it easier and more joyful, I have assembled a number of Mother’s Day Specials good today and tomorrow only!

Here they are:

Coaching! Check the Coaching Tab for details. But here’s the Mother’s Day ONLY Coaching Intro Special for half the normal price!

Get 1 month with 3 Coaching Calls for Half Price!

Click Here for the Mother’s Day Coaching Special!

Also, here are a few Do-It-Yourself Resources, to be used by themselves or in conjunction with the coaching.

I’ll give you the regular link so you can check out what you’ll get, and the special link:

Give the Gift of Stress Relief:

Here’s the info (note the bonus stress relief hypnosis audio!):

http://www.InstantStressReliefStrategies.com

Here’s your special Mother’s Day Discount Link:

Instant Stress Relief Mother’s Day Special

Give the Gift of Time:

Check it out here:

http://www.IMTimeMastery.com

Here’s your Special Link for the Time Mastery Course:

Turbo Time Management Mother’s Day Special

For Breast Cancer Survivors and their loved ones:

M book “Average C-Cup,” signed by me. You can check it out on Amazon.com under “Elisabeth Kuhn Average C-Cup”

Note that this is a physical book and will take about a week to get to you. VERY limited availability!

Average C-Cup Signed Book

In the meantime, I hope you’re having a very happy Mother’s Day!

Elisabeth

So last time I wrote about how to write fast. But I didn’t address the WHY of writing.

Today, that’s what I’m going to write about.

Not all the reasons. You might write because you have an assignment, or becauseyou get paid for it, or whatever.

But this is about writing to feel good.

Let’s say you’re depressed, in pain, or even stressed. How can writing help?

A number of ways:

1) What DO you want?

You can write what you would prefer to happen. Write down a list of the things you don’t want, then one at a time, cross them out and write what you DO want instead.

Example: I’m concerned about not having enough money. I enjoy having plenty of money at all times.

2) You can write a gratitude list

This might sound a bit corny, but it works miracles. While you’re feeling grateful you can no longer feel miserable. Repeat as necessary.

3) Self-compliments

You can write a list of self-compliments or a list of successes — to put things into perspective.

4) Write about your feelings or events in your life

You can write about how you’re feeling or about what’s going on in your life — and you can even shape it into poetry if you like. This kind of writing takes the unsaid and makes it visible — which gives you power over it.

You can shape it, transform it, as you would if you were to turn it into a poem, or you could even crumple it up and toss it into a waste basket.

Give it a try. Writing can be GREAT therapy.

How to write fast? My students want to know. I find it kind of funny that I’m now able to write about as fast as my typing speed will allow. Because way back when I was in academia full-time, it took me WEEKS, or even MONTHS to write an article.

I mean, if I look at my first few EZA articles, I wrote maybe one a month, and then a few more… But it was a chore. I think I have to thank Jason Fladlien for teaching me how to write faster — and eventually even really fast. If you want to find out more, just click here.

Some people have other ways to write faster, but my ibook can’t handle Dragon Naturally Speaking, not even the Mac version of it.

But that might not be such a bad thing. Here’s why.

I understand that Dragon isn’t all that perfect. So there might be typos and punctuation snafus and so on. And I would have to fix them all before I can post my articles.

Here’s why I have realized just how big of a hassle that might turn out to be…

I have experimented with another way to speed up my writing. I did a series of teleseminars, and when I needed to get some articles written up in a hurry, I decided to extract a bunch of articles form my teleseminars.

That was a good idea — in theory. And I did get a few really good ones from my teleseminar.

BUT…

Guess what! I don’t exactly speak in articles. Not when I’m on a teleseminar, though maybe I could learn…

And the transcriptions (outsources) were, uhm, in major need of editing. In a few places I couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to be, short of going back to the audio. That was really embarrassing.

And all that editing took a lot of time. More time, it turns out, than it would have taken me to simply whip out those articles from scratch.

I’m really a visual-llinguistic person. I am best at processing written down information, and as I write and watch the words appear on the page, I get a pretty good sense of where it’s going and can take it there. When I’m talking, I don’t have that same feedback loop.

So how to write fast? For me, it’s to write about something I know, on a keyboard that lets me type quickly, which my ibook keypad does.

More on that next time. Also more on writing for different self-help purposes, not all in the same post, obviously. Right now though, I want a cup of tea.

Happy writing!

Elisabeth

P.S.: Curious about all those articles I wrote in the last few days of the #HAHD “Challenge”? Just go to http://www.articlesbyelisabeth.com and work your way down the list Or even better — pick out the articles on the topics that interest you.

Click HERE for More Info on How to Write REALLY FAST!

A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for Connie Ragen Green’s new blogging challenge — and then, after posting a bunch of posts, promptly forgot all about it.

Well, not really forgot about it so much but becoming preoccuppied with other deadlines — work for clients, papers to grade, etc., that seemed more important.

So what to do? Well… a bit perspective is in order.

It reminds me of Roger Mellott’s “Nose on the Screen” image — when we get too wrapped up in our stuff, we are like flies that sit on the TV screen — unable to see the big picture, just running from one dot to the next etc.

And that’s how I realized a few things…

1) Doing a few things for my own blog and other stuff is important.
2) It doesn’t take away all that much time, actually.
3) That’s where perspective comes in… just how long DOES it take me to write a blog post?
(I’m not going to say, but depending on what I’m writing about, it’s not terribly long).

Now this gets me to another challenge… the Ezinearticles.com HAHD challenge. Writing a hundred articles in 100 days!

I made it to the end of the last one — kind of. A few articles ended up not being quite long enough, but I made it to 100. The short ones? The previous challenge, which overlapped with this one, didn’t require the articles to be more than 400 words, and so I skimped a bit for the last few that I turned in for THAT challenge — and those were also part of this set of 100.

But I learned a few cool things about myself and my writing ability — boy can I write fast if I’m under deadline pressure and I’m not trying to please anyone than myself, other than making sure that the articles meet the length requirements. That and pass muster with Ezinearticles’ editorial team, which they usually do anyway since my articles are generally good ones

Anyway, challenge number 5 is coming up, starting on May 1, and THIS time, I’m going to approach it more the way it was supposed to be done — writing an article or two every day or two, so I keep building up my count week after week and won’t be forced into a mad wrist-pain inducing dash during hte last few days.

My counter is ready to go, sitting in my author’s area. Only 7 days till the starting date…

So what’s the leson about the challenge of meeting challenges?

1) Don’t underestimate what you can do.
2) Don’t forget to take care of yourself too.
3) Slow and steady gets you there. But sometimes, when needed, so will a mad dash!

What do you think?

Let me know! Just post a comment. I’ll incorporate the best comments in a follow-up post! And there will be one or several since I have to post a whole lotta posts to meet Connie’s challenge!

Happy Weekend!

Ready for summer? Are you done with your spring cleaning
and clearing out of clutter yet?

I just published a new Ezine articles on that very topic:

http://www.ezinearticles.com/?id=4088843

So instead of repeating myself, I’ll just give you the link.

And if you find that you want to let go of some of your
stuff, or need help with the stress, you can now get a
great deal on my ebooks, the one on how to sell your extra
stuff on Amazon.com OR the one on relieving stress.

You can find the info on them here:

http://www.sellyourstuffatamazon.com

http://www.instantstressreliefstrategies.com

But don’t get them there. I just set up a special button
for you at PayPal, where you can get either one for just
$9.95 (or simply use the link twice if you want both).

Just include a message in the message area which one you
want, and I’ll send you the download link by email.

Or send me an email to my PayPal address to let me
know which one you want.

Put “Spring Cleaning Special” in your subject line please.

So here’s the button:

How long is this deal good for? Just for a little over
48 hours or until Friday at noon Pacific Time.

Meanwhile, I hope you’re enjoying your spring.

Elisabeth

P.S.: If clutter is a bad habit for you and you need
some help with overcoming habits like that, you can
also get a fr.ee 5-part e-course here:

http://www.turboselfgrowth.com

I have learned this technique from psychic Bill Burns (and from Barbara Rose, who also learned it from Bill and explains it particularly well). It’s designed to increase a sense of self-appreciation and self-love, an essential ingredient to feeling good about oneself and to making life work well.

Here’s how it works:

Stand in front of the mirror and discuss with yourself what you did that day that pleased you. Then tell yourself what about those things pleased you and what about who you are made that possible.

I realize that this may feel awkward at first. Do it anyway.

I find it easier, and for me at least, more effective than Louise Hay’s technique of just telling yourself “I love you.”

You may want to take notes about the things you wish to discuss (see the feel-good list above) before you actually do the mirror exercise. But feel free to adlib as you come up with more things.

Here’s an example of how this might work:

I went for a walk in the park today. This pleases me because I’m taking care of myself and it made me feel good. It also helped me relax and it will contribute to keeping my body healthy and my emotions on the positive side. The quality in me that made this possible is the fact that I’m in touch with how I feel, I pay attention to it, and I take care of myself, as I must because this body is all I have, and I appreciate it and make an effort to treat it well.

Do this regularly every evening and you will notice a big shift in how you feel.

And if you’re ready to let go of all that extra stress, you’re invited to download my FREE Easy Intro to EFT and get started right away. Why EFT? It’s an extremely powerful tool for stress relief!

Self-Appreciation lists and Bill Burns’ Mirror Technique are powerful techniques to regain self confidence and feel better about self and life. Read on about how they work.

A) Write a Self-Appreciation List

List as many things as possible that you’re proud of: go back to childhood, though that’s optional. Just keep writing. Include anything big you did. Graduated from school and from college for example. Or kindergarten. Got a good grade in some class. An award for bowling or a project.

Remember to include even the less obvious things. Papers you wrote, fish you caught, things you fixed, friends you made, places you’ve been. It all counts.

And don’t forget to include anything you like about yourself: Your smile, your eyes, your hands, your ability to listen, your courage in the face of challenges, your capacity for empathy, your toes.

Writing a self appreciation list will go a long way towards helping you remember that you are really very much okay.

And in my next post, I’ll talk about Bill Burns’ Mirror Technique.