My Favorite Self-Help Stuff

I’ll tell you where.  You know how when you’re stressed, especially over a huge big project, or way too long a to do list, and so on, it can make things go into a tail spin.  How to relief that stress?  Do things one task at a time, and while each one is in progress, that’s where the focus is.  Same thing I told my student many times.  How to handle test stress: One question at a time.  Now what does that have to do with Marlon Sanders’ Promo Dashboard?

As it turns out, plenty.  Promoting a product launch, or even just getting people to sign up for a newsletter is a big project with lots and lots of details, and when any of the steps are missing or stump me or you, it all grinds to a halt.  And gets very stressful.

So Marlon took that prime stress management approach to making product promotion basically uhm, well, not entirely stress free, but much less stressful and overwhelming than it could be.

Of course just looking at the various icons — and seeing that once you click, there are multiple tasks to complete under each one of them, can feel pretty daunting too.  Yes, that dashboard has got a heck of a lot of stuff on it.

But it’s all organized.  One task at a time.  And thoroughly explained.  And all are pretty much in the exact order in which you have to complete them.

So you can just focus on each of the them one at a time and not worry about anything else until it’s done, and then go on to the next one, and so on.

Way cool!  And a great model for other kinds of projects as well (Marlon knows that of course.  After all, he has used that dashboard principle successfully with the Info Product Dashboard, the Marketing Dashboard, the Affiliate Dashboard, and the Design Dashboard, before he even got to the Promo Dashboard.

But back to other applications for the dashboard principle:  Whether it’s an elaborate Thanksgiving dinner for the family reunion or a house cleaning project or planning a long trip or writing a dissertation, the principle is the same.  Figure out in which order things have to get done, and then tackle them one at a time, and while you’re at one of them, don’t look at that loooooong list of stuff  you still have to do.

Although an occasional glance at all the ones you have already finished can be increasingly encouraging as you work your way through the project.

The result.  A whole lot less stress!

So, if you’re at all interested in internet marketing or making money online, you really should check out Marlon’s Promo Dashboard.  It’s simply great!  And heck, for the price you could even get it if all you need is a great model for how to organize a complex process.  It costs less than a one-hour consultation with one of those organizer people.  You can see it by clicking right here:

Marlon’s Promo Dashboard

Oh, and the best part — it’s like you have a tutor at your beck and call.  I just discovered a big thing I know I really need and wanted to learn but didn’t know how to do and felt very intimidated by.

And guess what.  The dashboard walked me right through it, step by step.  And I also found similar explanations for stuff I had only recently learned the very hard and sometimes expensive way.  I really wish I had had that dashboard sooner.

So take a look at my favorite stress reduction dashboard

And if you’d like a freebie bonus 7 tips stress busting e-report, you can have that too.

And have a verrrry relaxing day!

Elisabeth

I was all ready to get back home and resume my “normal” life, and then, when I looked up my connecting flight at O’Hare, there it was: “cancelled”!

I went to the customer service desk, tried to get them to put me on a different flight, but the agent told me that my chances were very slim to basically non-existent (overbooked by 6 and a waiting list of 20 for a flight on a plane so small that half the passengers had to fail to show up in order for me to get on), so I took her up on her offer to put me up in a nearby hotel.

The part that bothered me most: My suitcases were going to arrive at their destination without me! There was room for THEM on the only other flight to my destination, but not for ME! What a bummer.

Here I had a great opportunity to either blow a fuse and create a stress fest, or take it easy! Obviously, the second was a much better option. Stressing wouldn’t have gotten me on a plane, and it might well have alienated the agent.

So since I couldn’t change things, I decided to make the best of them and enjoy my detour. At first, I thought of going into town to enjoy some blues, but considering my still pretty bad cough, I thought that maybe the blues would have to wait for another time.

Instead, I used my meal voucher for getting the fanciest of the dinner salads with dessert from my favorite gourmet take-out at O’Hare (La Tapenade), and went to the hotel.

As it turned out, a Target was only two parking lots away, so I went there and got the few things I wish I had packed in my carry-on, and then proceeded to enjoy my dinner and the hotel’s not quite free but very good wireless connection. And essentially a free evening that allowed me to relax and give myself a break before I have to face my “real” life again.

After eyeing the various bottles of spring water that sat attractively arranged all over my hotel room with a bit of suspicion (sometimes they turn out to cost $5 each), I finally called the front desk. No, the very friendly customer service person said, those were all complimentary! Nice!

And yes, the shuttle is free too. So now I’m going to enjoy the hotel’s amenities (including their very deliciously scented shampoo) and then catch some zzzzs. I’m sure that’ll help my cough and also ensure I’ll be ready to catch my plane first thing tomorrow morning.

Next time though, I’ll be sure to pack a few essentials I don’t want to sleep without into my carry-on.

Meanwhile, I feel a sense of gratitude: after all, the airline didn’t attempt to fly with a mechanically compromised plane, so I appreciate their thoughtfulness and their integrity in valuing everybody’s safety over their on-time arrival scores!

I often wish my life had more balance. But no — it’s way out of whack. Which makes me feel like I’m failing somehow. Yet I don’t think I am. Balance is not really possible anymore in this era of more, more, more and total everything overload. And the only way to cope? Alternating priorities. Can’t do it all at once!

I had to think of that when I looked at my woefully neglected blog and realized I hadn’t posted anything in OVER A MONTH! Eeeek!

Sorry about that. What happened? My priorities shifted a bit: I got ready and then went on that trip to New Zealand I’ve been writing about. There, among other things, I had a conference to get ready for (prepare presentation) and participate in (it was GREAT and well worth the time I put in).

What I mean is this: New Zealand was great! Seeing my friend again was great. And the conference was just fantastic. Better than any of the previous editions of that particular conference that I’ve been to. In part, that was due to the conference organizers who did an amazing job. The people who where there. The great papers. But also to me. I think I’m less shy and less easily intimidated than I used to be years ago, and so I enjoyed things a whole lot more, connected with lots of people, new ones, as well as people I had known for years and years.

Wellington was windy, like it always is this time of the year, but also gorgeous. And the view from the apartment where I stayed was just phenomenal. I’ll post a few pictures in an upcoming blog post.

And then I caught the NZ flu or something. I’ve been overdosing on a range of flu meds for more than a week now. And I’m still coughing up a storm.

Also, it did a real number on my poor ears on the flight back (right now I’m in San Francisco, typing this in an internet cafe). A piece of advice: avoid flying with stuffed-up sinuses at all cost. It hurts!

So about that balance thing: The idea is that if we do things right, we can really have balance in our lives. Poppycock. Most of us have way to much stuff in there to balance it all and still sleep.

So what to do? Have those things take turns. So while I was in NZ I focused mostly on NZ things, my friend there, the conference, the gorgeous scenery. And now that I’m on my way back home, I’ll get back to where I left off with my other endeavors.

I’m also working on a new project (more about that soon — for now it’s strictly under wraps).

And the most important bit: don’t feel guilty if you can’t do it all, all of the time. Cycle through your priorities, giving each one a turn at the top of the list so stuff gets done, and then have it slide to the back burner while other items take the top spot — for a little while.

It’s the only way. We are human, and we forget that there are limits in how much we can do. Our minds can conjure up fantastic goals and plans, but our bodies have limitations. And the more we respect and honor our bodies, the better our chances to reach our goals.

Like Abraham says, the most important thing is that we feel good. If that sounds selfish to you, just think about it for a minute. What will you be able to do if you don’t take care of yourself first?

Having been on quite a few plane trips recently, watching that safety video over and over, I can see it vividly in front of me:

“Be sure to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting other passengers!”

I know you’ve seen it too. What’s the message here? In order to be of any use to anyone else, we need to take care of ourselves first.

More soon. And yes, I’m baaack! I’ll be posting here at least once or twice a week, if not even more often.

Have a great day! And give yourself a break

Stressed? Too much work? Want to check out my Instant Stress Relief ebook? How about getting this special FREEBIE edition with seven tips for relieving stress and boosting your mood?

You can download your seven feel-good and stress-relieving tips right here.

It comes with a free subscription to my self-help stuff newsletter with more tips and resources. Of course, if you don’t like my newsletter, you can always unsubscribe (there’s a link in each newsletter).

But first you’ll need to confirm your subscription, at least temporarily, because your ebook link will be in the first email and I can only send it to you if you confirm.

BTW, today’s FREE ebook give-away has been inspired by the generosity of the following website:

Jogena’s – eBook and eZine Directories – Get Listed Today!

Thanks for downloading and I hope you’ll enjoy my ebook!

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Remember the empty plate club? Nowadays, what we really need is the too much on my plate club…

I wrote a book about how to stay sane under stress, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t also find myself in way over my head situations. Too much on my plate club indeed.

What to do? Step one: calm down. And yes, you can find out how in my ebook, “Instant Stress Relief Strategies,” and also on this blog if you browse around some… Or if you go look up my ezinearticles.com articles, which you can find by clicking on that cute little ezinearticles.com Expert Author button on the right.

Or you can go to http://www.elisabethsarticles.com.

And then, there’s step two: take stuff off that plate!

Yes indeed. Just because it’s on your plate doesn’t mean you have to eat everything on it, empty plate club rules notwithstanding! You can take some and pass it on to others (delegate) and you can also renegotiate deadlines.

If worse comes to worst and you really just can’t get everything done, you can still practice damage control. Which of these things will cause you the least trouble if you skip or postpone it?

One VERY handy tool here is Abraham’s Placemat Process (see the Abraham-Hicks section in the Categories list).

That will help you pick out the ones that absolutely MUST be done now, and increase your chances that you actually get those done and will feel good about it. Then repeat the process with the next batch the following day, and so on and on.

And soon enough, you’ll find that things may get done without you. You’ll find out that some of the stuff has become moot. Or someone else already did it. Or it didn’t need to be done after all. I remember a letter I was supposed to write and it just got lost in the shuffle. I felt guilty about it for quite a while, until I got an email from that person that said that the other letter hadn’t actually been necessary, but now would I please write one. So I did. Funny how some of these things work out.

And in a worst case scenario? What will happen if you really can’t do it? What would happen if you fell over with a heart attack? They’d cope, right? Well… you DON’T have to get a heart attack first.

So learn to practice portion control when you allow stuff onto your plate (yeah, I know, I find it a challenge too). And if there’s too much on it already, take some of it off the plate

And yes, sure, if you like, there is this handy dandy ebook I wrote on how to calm yourself down instantly (or very quickly anyway) when you’re so stressed that you can hardly catch your breath anymore.

You can find it at Instant Stress Relief Strategies. Those strategies work. I’m using them myself and they’ve helped me (and my friends, and some of my students) through some very rough times.

I hope you have a very relaxing day!

Elisabeth

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Is your life too stressful? If the answer is yes, you probably won’t need any help with figuring out if you need a break. You KNOW.

But sometimes we’re in denial. We think, oh, it’s just a temporary thing and I’ll make it through this one too, but then there’s the next one and the next one, and our bodies, designed to fight or flee, which worked just fine way back in the early days, just can’t cope.

We were definitely not designed for long-term non-stop stress. Some of us have learned the hard way where this can lead. If you haven’t, do yourself a favor and don’t keep going till you find out for yourself. It’s not pretty.

So here are a few signs that should tell you to slow down — fast:

1: Racing heart and shaky hands, especially if that happens frequently.

2: Trouble sleeping. Thoughts racing through your head. Waking up in the middle of the night making to-do lists.

3. Neck pain, upper back pain, any back pain for that matter. My chiropractor tells me that out-of-whack vertebrae or, like he likes to call it, subluxations, are caused by the three T’s: trauma (we knew about that one), toxins, and thoughts.

Yes, thoughts. Thoughts of the variety that cause us stress. Have you ever been in the middle of being all stressed out about something and suddenly your back goes out? Or your neck hurts, Or your head?

4. Numbness and tingling in arms and/or hands (and legs too, I suppose). Another one I wasn’t aware of. I was a bit worried about it but figured I just pinched a nerve. Guess what. It’s all part of the body’s reaction to too much stress.

5. You feel sick to your stomach, or have any other gastro-intestinal irregularities. All of these can be caused by stress as well. Remember the tummy ache you had as a kid when you were afraid to go to school on test day or because the schoolyard bully had it in for you?

6. And if your weight has been moving up and up and up, that too may well be due to stress. Cortisol, the ultimate stress hormone, causes the body to store fat (remember, it’s an emergency — you may need it someday, or so the body thinks).

And that’s just for starters. If you find yourself plagued by any or all of the above, take a break.

Sure, deadlines may loom, but think about it: What will they do when you fall over with a heart attack? They’ll figure something out. Why not take the break earlier and NOT have that heart attack first. It’ll be easier on everybody, even from a straight cost/benefit point of view.

So if you’re too stressed to think straight, take a break already. Your work will go so much better when you’re feeling more relaxed and your body is back in balance.

For ways to actually lower stress and regain some peace of mind, and maybe improve your mood too, you may want to check out my FREE ebook with seven stress-lowering and mood-boosting tips. Okay, I admit it. It’s a shameless ploy to get you to take a look at it and then hopefully liking it so much you’ll want the real deal.

But mostly, I hope you’ll enjoy my book and find it helpful. So please, do take me up on my offer and get my special trial edition of Feel Better Quickly right now.

And feel better quickly

Have a great day!

Elisabeth

P.S.: If you can’t wait to get the full version, you can get that right here. or by clicking on the teddy bear at the top right of the screen.

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Seven stress tips and/or feel-better tips are yours for the downloading!

How come? As you can see below, my new ebook Feel Better Quickly: Emergency Rescue Toolbox for your Mood is ready. And I want to give people a chance to try it on for size risk-free.

So I had the sneaky idea to simply give you a shorter version of it FREE!

Get it right here:

FREE Ebook on how to feel better quickly

Read and enjoy. And try out some tips. See what you think, and let me know if you like them. Or not. And also let me know what kind of info you would like to have in the next edition of the book!

Oh, and please feel free to share it with friends, family, associates. You may give it away to anyone you like.

Meanwhile, I hope you feel fabulous and won’t have any need whatsoever for the emotional rescue tips in my book. But then again, life has its ups and downs, and so you never know when it might come in handy sometime.

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As promised in my book Feeling Better Quickly, I’m going to share my Happy Playlist with you right here on my blog. These are songs I play when I need cheering up or just because. I also often play them when I am already feeling good.

Please note that some of my favorite songs are German — that’s where I grew up and so I have a particularly strong emotional connection to some of the songs that made me feel good when I was young(er).

Some of them might not even be particularly obvious as happy songs — must have something to do with what happened in my life when I used to listen to them that I now, consciously or subconsciously associate with them. There are other songs not yet on that list because I haven’t been able to find electronic versions of them — yet.

Anyway, here they are, in no particular order, or rather, more or less in the order in which they arrived in my iTunes and I was able to add them:

All You Need Is Love (Beatles)

I Want to Hold Your Hand (Beatles)

Staying Alive (Bee Gees)

Saturday Night Fever (Bee Gees)

Pretty Woman (Roy Orbison)

Positive Vibrations (Bob Marley)

Sunshine of Your Love (Cream)

Radar Love (Golden Earring)

Samba Pa Ti (Santana)

Black Magic Woman (Santana)

Satisfaction (Rolling Stones)

Honky Tonk Woman (Rolling Stones)

I Want You (Bob Dylan)

Pop Muzik (M)

Rebel Rebel (David Bowie)

Jean Genie (David Bowie)

Magic Man (Heart)

Something (Beatles)

Come Together (Beatles)

I’m not in Love (10 cc)

Whisky in the Jar (Thin Lizzy)

All Things Are Possible (Darlene Zschech (Gospel from Australia)

Joy Joy Joy (Francine Jarry/Abraham-Hicks)

Aber Dich gibt’s nur einmal fuer mich (Flippers)

Listen to the Music (Doobie Brothers)

Flashdance (What a Feeling) (Irene Cara)

Try (Just A Little Bit Harder) Janis Joplin

Celebration (Kool & the Gang)

Financially Free (Lauren Lane Powell)

Manifesting Money (Lauren Lane Powell)

Eyeballin’ (Lonnie Brooks)

We Are The Champions (Queen)

Es wird ein Bettler zum Koening (Ricky Shayne)

Ich sprenge alle Ketten (Ricky Shayne)

Born to be Wild (Steppenwolf)

Joy to the World (Three Dog Night)

An Old Fashioned Love Song (Three Dog Night)

The Show Must Go On (Three Dog Night)

Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)

Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)

One Step Beyond (Madness)

In the Summertime (Mungo Jerry)

School’s Out (Alice Cooper)

Schoen ist es auf der Welt zu sein (Roy Black & Anita)

Ich sing ein Lied fuer Dich (Heintje)

Ich bau dir ein Schloss (Heintje)

I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)

And last, but definitely not least:

The entire Tschaikowski Violin Concerto in D-Major.

Enjoy

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Want to feel better? Especially when you have one of those days?

I still have them on a fairly regular basis (not nearly as often as I used to though). I guess they come with the territory when I insist on not playing things safe all the time…

So I have plenty of first-hand experience with working my way out of the dumps — and I’m happy to say that I’m MUCH better at it than I used to be. I get out of the hole so much faster, and I remember much more quickly that yes, I can do something about that, and then do it.

So if I supply you with self-help info, it’s because I have tested all those things myself. Obviously, as always, your mileage may vary, but there’s enough of a range that some of the tools should help. Just find your favorites… and/or add them to the ones you’re already using.

I also want to add, that these are not necessarily solutions to the problem that causes the stress. That will still need to be dealt with. However, it is much easier to deal with problems and challenges when one is not in the middle of a panic attack, so these tips along with any future ones are meant to help put you in a better frame of mind — so you will be able to achieve what you want to achieve much more effectively.

There’s also the issue of the Law of Attraction, another reason why it’s important not to wallow in misery lest you draw even more of it.

Here are a few easy and obvious techniques to start with (though there will be much fancier ones in upcoming parts of this series — as well as in my newsletter):

1. Chocolate. (I’m serious. It seems to trigger endorphins in the brain. Just be sure not to OD.)

2. A walk in the park (or on the beach, or anywhere else, preferably outdoors, that you enjoy)

3. A hug. If nobody suitable is nearby, try a phonecall with a friend.

4. A movie that makes you happy and/or laugh, preferably both. A few years back, when I went through chemo and got quite depressed at times, I prescribed myself a happy movie a day. It made a HUGE difference.

5. A first aid kit containing a collection of favorite comics, cartoons, and jokes

6. A good meal, preferably with a friend. But even a good solo meal can make you feel better (try fresh flowers for company). Consider having your favorite comfort food. That’s why they call it comfort food! Just see above.

7. Hot chocolate. Marshmallows or whipped cream optional

8. A hot bath or even a shower

9. A nap

10. Pet a cat (or dog, or bunny rabbit, etc.)

Okay, those were some of the basic ones. I’ve got lots more where these came from. In fact, I’m working on an ebook on the topic, and it’s getting closer to completion. But that doesn’t mean I won’t tell you more tips and techniques.

Look for Pt. 4 very soon, with a number of much fancier tools you may or may not have heard of.

Have a great day!

P.S.: For a much more elaborate technique for working yourself out of the dumps one step at a time see Pt. 1 and 2 of the series (just click on Abraham-Hicks in the categories list on the right and scroll down a bit. You can also find them under A Happier Life, but you’ll have to scroll all the way down AND go to “previous entries,” and then they’ll be near the bottom of the new page.

P.P.S.: For more out-of-the-dumps info, sign up for my newsletter, which features more detailed descriptions of some of my favorite techniques on reducing stress and on raising your vibration.

P.P.P.S.: Please note that these tips are not intended to replace therapy or proper medical attention if that is what you might need. They will make a nice supplement though even in that case.

The ultimate stress reduction tool is free time! Who knew! In fact, why do I find this surprising? If I’m honest, I have to admit that I automatically gravitate towards this when I get very stressed.

And, just in case you wonder, that’s not free time spent in front of the TV, but free time spent puttering. Free time spent in utterly unstructured activity.

One of my friends has figured it out. He goes sailing, and if you think about it, sailing is about as unstructured as you can get, unless you’re in a race, which obviously doesn’t count for this purpose. Sailing for fun is relaxing and absorbing at the same time, a perfect combination.

I remember being quite surprised to discover that. I got on the boat worried about falling in and getting seasick. Instead, I found myself feeling more relaxed than I had in a long time.

I like to think that I’m pretty good at spending unstructured time myself, but I do have this little hang-up. I bet you do too.

Here it is: I feel guilty — I feel like I SHOULD be doing something a bit more productive, for example grade student papers, do research, whatever. Never mind that my mind is fried from reading too many of those papers already. Or that my research will go much better and faster when I feel relaxed and rested.

So why am I writing this now?

Because of this: I was puttering around yesterday, enjoying some unstructured activity, and came across an old book. I was about to put into a bag for my favorite book-recirculating store, when I opened it…

And saw some seriously cool info about coping with too much stress. The book is Robert Bramson’s “Coping with the Fast Track Blues.” It’s actually almost 18 years old!

But clearly not much has changed (unfortunately). If anything, things have gotten worse. A lot worse.

And this book has some seriously good advice. Here are some of the chapter titles: “Slowing down the Squirrel Cage: Getting Control of Overload.” “Keeping Your Distance from Unhealthy Organizational Practices.” And then there’s that section about creating free time and the benefits of said practice, which is what got my attention.

Of course, I know from experience that it works. That’s why sometimes I carve out entire days with absolutely no agenda, especially when I’m exhausted and stressed. They always feel kind of wasteful, but now I’m going to stop that self-bashing and appreciate that this is the most perfect thing I can do to rejuvenate my body, mind, and spirit.

Free time — this, by the way, does not mean vegging out in front of the TV, but truly free time. Just hanging out, alone or with friends. Bramson mentions floating down a slow-moving stream (this is what reminded me of sailing, which works much the same way and for the same reason).

Needless to say, this book isn’t going to the bookstore but on my “current reading” stack. And I’m going to give myself some more “nothing” time, this time with a clean conscience. I hope you’ll consider doing the same.

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